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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

haix... actually told myself not to come online anymore... but today i'm jux so sad that i hav nth to do but to blog... no mood to concentrate so ain't studying now... got home today and found no dinner... actually me mother did help me buy but she bought the seafood fried rice!! watta... she noe that i can't eat seafood... that time she scold my father for buying seafood fried rice for me and now she's doing the same... wa lao... somemore it doesn't seem to bother her.. she nv attempts to find other food for me... guess wat she said... "too bad... the man didn't hear properly"... does she know how sad i am now? i'm tired and hungry.. after a long day of school wif many hrs of accounts and this is wat i get... i feel like running away from home... i can't take it anymore... no one in this house seem to know how i feel... i'm can't get any peace here and no care from anyone of us... two days ago i broke a bottle of pi pa gao... and no one bothers to help me...! shattered glass was everywhere... yet no one...no one helped me... i had to clean up the mess myself... alone... my mom always expect me to do my own stuff such as washing my own laundry and iron my own clothes... but is she aware that i hav too little time for all these? she jux dun care... everytime ask a bit more allowance from my dad she oso not happy... why can't she jus think in my shoes? i ask for more money not necessarily to go shopping de ma... can jux save up rite? the graduation tea oso my own money lehx... lucky me sis is kind enuff to sponsor me... i feel so depressed... my tears are flowing for the second time today....

Painting a PRETTY mess.
8:46 PM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

wow... i slept for 12 hrs today... could hav slept longer... but it was already 1pm so my mom woke me up... so shuang... but my eyebag and dark circles doesn't seem to get any better...maybe because yetesterday stayed up till one to play games... haha...jux finished typing the eng notes... haven't print out yet... hmm... still haven's touch any hw... this weekend got maths and accounts to do... gotta study for physics mock too... but think no hope le... physics too lan... hopeless... maybe would consider dropping physics b4 'o' level...

Painting a PRETTY mess.
5:57 PM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

it rained... rained the whole day... looks like tears falling from the sky... can't rmb the last time i shed my tears... is that a good thing? i think i'm jux numb to the things ard me... today forgot to bring my hp to school... left it to charge... my sis took my phone and tried to press the PIN code... in the end my SIM card got blocked... i was so furious i shouted at her... in front of my mother... i could hav cried... i would in the past... but i wasn't sure why my tears didn't drop... i don't even feel it in my eyes... maybe i'm immune to such saddness... but well... i called the starhub and got my PUK code easily... my sis still owes me an apology... she nv thinks... jux few days ago she did the same to her phone... she hasn't learn her lesson... i didn't got the PUK code for her... since she's changing no. anyway... guess she might be feeling guilty right now... am i very bad? for not tellinh that my SIM card is alright now... but i don't care... she's always touching my stuff w/o my permission and not admitting after that... i hav evidence de... so even if she denys i still noe that she's the culprit... haix... but she's not at all that bad... afterall she's still my sister... sometimes she lends me her ears though i'll choose not to tell her everything... she also helps me in many ways... she'll help me even if she don't like to do... she's kind at heart... she's jux too ignorant...hope she grows up soon...

Painting a PRETTY mess.
9:23 PM

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

it's ivy's b'dae today... guess not the whole class noe bout it... happy b'dae gal... sweet 16... got the new time table... tml we're going to hav 3 straight hrs of maths!!! argh... stupid mr ngoh... tml gonna be very torturing... haix... haven finish all my maths... haven got the time and energy to do so... anyway... i shall stop talking about maths... will only make me more mad... well... today nth very exciting happen except that during assembly got some show put up by the science discovery centre... chandra volunteer himself... kinda throw face cox he very blur... [can't blame him...that's his usual self]... then the stupid arthur ngoh dun even noe our national day song <> by kit chan... that song even primary sch ppl oso noe... he trying to act or wat... dotx... still lie that he teach F&N... how throw face... today 4e2 keep throwing face during assembly... no wonder e1 dun wan sit close to us... haha... no lar... maybe is they anti-social so they wan sit far away from the rest... haha

Painting a PRETTY mess.
9:19 PM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart-Britney Spears

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?

And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you know, I still miss you somehow

[CHORUS:]
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said, "please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about

But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end

[Repeat CHORUS]

You promised yourself
But to somebody else
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here

[Repeat CHORUS]

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?

Painting a PRETTY mess.
10:45 PM


went to storm to cut my hair wif huiyin and ivy...got jimmy to cut my hair again... changed the style of my fringe.. erm... dun feel different though... hope mon ppl dun laugh at me... haix... then went to bugis... met up wif shiwei and yongqi... too bad huiyin didn't go wif us... well... today spent a lot of money sai... about $70... haix... but i think it's worth it... cox i finally bought a sling bag after searching for how long... last time went bugis couldn't find... lucky this time found the one tt i like... if not nxt time maybe dun wan vist bugis again... haha... no lar... still will go there de... anyway today ate lunch at fish and co. for the first time... ate fish and chip... the fish very big arhx... all of us couldn't finish... yongqi nv eat... she wanted to save to buy her addidas jacket... did she buy? i left early... too bad... couldn't continue shopping... came home and found an empty house... damn it... i could hav shopped somemore... it was so fun... haix... here's some pics that we took...



smile girls...!


and this...wif purple background!! so nice... hehe

Painting a PRETTY mess.
8:04 PM

Sunday, August 07, 2005

went shopping at many places today... went to bugis, chinatown and west mall wif my whole family... i bought a pair of converse sch shoes!! so happie... i wanna shop more... didn't manage to find any bottom of my liking... till now still haven buy my bag too... haix... very difficult to find lehx... so tired sia... but OMG! haven do my maths... tml wat am i going to hand in? tonight no nid sleep le larx... blame myself for watching too much tv yesterday... my mom did remind me that today gonna go out the whole day and that i shd do my hw ytd but i didn't listen to her... argh... wat am i going to do? Ahh... tml nid hand in 3 sets of e-maths paper 1... that'll take me 6 hrs... and now... it's 8++ le... maybe i should hav spent the time online to start doing my hw... however, me too long nv blog so hand itchy... haha... anyway... today's post a lot of crap... dun scold me ppl... thankx...


4/5 days left b4 the release of chinese 'o' level results.... be prepared!!

Painting a PRETTY mess.
8:07 PM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

let the rain fall down[come clean]__Hilary duff


Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no lie
I defy

[CHORUS:]
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm comimg clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind

[CHORUS]

I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean

[CHORUS]

Let's go back
Back to the beginning

Painting a PRETTY mess.
10:52 PM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

nth exciting happened today... took ss test today... think no hope le... wrote the wrong factors... nvm... blame me for falling asleep while i was studying for ss yesterday... cannot blame anyone... today during lunch i got a shock/surprise? i saw him standing right behind me when i turn ard... my heartbeat immediately shot to 200 times a min... haha... not possible lar... but at that moment my face could have gone all red... hope he didn't see my expression... so paiseh... hahax... anyway... after lunch went for elec. geo remedial... today mr koh face a bit black... dunno why... he delayed our lesson which in turn delayed our physics remedial... mr ravi oso held us back till 6++... all the stupid yi cheng's fault... keep talking crap... but he was quite funny... provided some entertainment to the boring physics lesson... the day went by... oh ya... chui shan's left eye today very red... that was what happened to me yesterday... it's either sore eye or the contact lens not clean... lucky today my eyes are back to normal... if not i'll panic...

Painting a PRETTY mess.
10:37 PM

Monday, August 01, 2005

it's the start of the new month... suppose to mark a new beginning... but... the day went HORRIBLE... haix... i keep making noise... something wrong wif me? i MUX tell myself to be more discreet... i MUX learn to be more disciplined... to be a better person, i mux...

-learn to cherish and honour the people around me

-listen more and talk less

-go through intelligence thoughts before i make any comments

-stay focus

-put in more effort in my studies

-be more genourous

-learn to forgive and forget

-and... ... forget about him


i'll need a lot of support... i hope i can do it... today is a total disaster... i was being such a nuisance to the class... and i lost track of my homework... i mux progress and not lag behind others... chinese 'o' level result is going to be released soon... i'm praying for a distinction... that way i can put more focus on other subject and not having to retake chi again... english oral is also inching close... mux work doubly hard since my eng so lan... i think the last oral i got the lowest in 4e2... wat a shame... i better go bang my head on the wall or cut myself... then my mind will be more clear... results dun jux come by itself... hav to work for it... but... where can i seek help? there isn't someone who can clear ALL my doubt... i noe i'm not good at words... that's why not many ppl wan to give me any support... wanna say sorry to those that i hav offended in the past... maybe life will change after i leave here... but to those who are by my side... thankx for being there... i really appreciate ur presence... i can still vividly see a ray of hope at the end of the tunnel... ...

Painting a PRETTY mess.
8:44 PM

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